What a Wild Weekend


Freedom! Brave adventure instructors were keeping the Resident Teenager busy all weekend and the Commander in Chief was away celebrating further academic excellence, leaving Man Mountain and the dog to their own devices.
Spoiled for choice, the thumb was poised to start text-pesting friends into a night out - drink, laughter and fast food. But, feeling almost guilty about leaving the four-legged fiend home alone for so long, thoughts turned to enticing friends round to watch 1970s cop shows, eat curry and drink whisky.
Decided. Time to get the fire on, the pyjamas on, well it was nearly dark, and the cooker on to create something ‘healthy’ to provide sustenance throughout the weekend. Well, it was a bit wet and windy for hitting the town and I’m saving that whisky.
Don’t worry about the hairy fiend - that’s the dog, by the way - he’s happy with top-notch dried food and a little fish mixed in.
Baring in mind advice from Brother-in-Law, a real scientist who studied a real ology at a real university - turnip seemed a good base for a big, super spicy vegetable and bean stew.
He mentioned something else, anyway, full of goodness and delicious, the stew provided the perfect hot and satisfying barrier to the storm growing outside.
Master and fiend relaxed in front of the fire entranced by re-runs of any and every detective show on television.
Suddenly a strange sound gurgled across the room. It didn’t take too much investigation to deduce the source - the bulging belly was bubbling.
Another storm was brewing. Suddenly I remembered Brother-in-Law’s throwaway remark, something about getting stocked up on toilet roll. Ouch. The penny hit home as an image was conjured up of the family scientist, succumbing to his James Bond-like dry wit, sitting quietly in his southern retreat nursing the grin of the Cheshire cat.
It was delicious, but the stew didn’t even lead to an amazing amount of fat falling off the Gigantasaurus. Yes, another pound was lost. At this rate, a stone might fall from the mountain by Christmas. Ho, ho, ho!


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