Cold Comfort for Grumbling Appendage

The fat lad’s fat line has flatlined, and it’s entirely the fault of the never dependable British weather - oh, and a lack of willpower and a pub lunch with chips.

Gigantasaurus turned into one hangry monster this week fuelled by the arrival of autumn and gale force winds. The temperature seemed to nosedive, dragging the incredible bulk down into an angry bad mood and, worse, raising the threshold of the hunger game to previously untested heights.

Rabbit food didn’t even dare poke its twitching nose out of the fridge as the podgy plonker paced up and down searching for a guilt-free solution to his grumbling appendage, the rumbles rippling out of the jelly belly.

A frantic internet trawl for fat-free full-flavour pies, sausage rolls, pizzas, bacon sarnies, cheese and chips only made matters worse.

But there are lots of low-fat, low-calorie hot foods out there that would be filling and in keeping with the War on Waist. Think it’s just the dark nights drawing and the cold. Man Mountain isn’t used to feeling the cold thanks to very generous and efficient insulation.

Perhaps this autumn chill is good news.

Time to take that small but challenging step onto the scales that do not lie. A trip over the border to visit the wrinklies and the accompanying Sunday lunch was great in the moment but would be cold comfort now.

Lard Lugger’s only hope was that a fundraising walk in the dark around Watchtree Nature Reserve might have made space for those chips. Well, to be absolutely honest, a whole pound had been added to the mountain. A first retreat in the blubber busting-battle field.
Reinforcements might be needed in the guise of low-fat, low-calorie, fill-you-up recipes. If you have any ideas please share them.